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01 September 2007 @ 08:18 pm
Fic: Revelations and Realizations  
Title: Revelations and Realizations
Pairing: Sirius/Snape (Marauder’s Era)
Rating: R
Warnings: Angst, underage sex
Disclaimer: Alas, nothing is mine.
Summary: The lost book isn't the only thing Snape gets from Sirius.
A/N: Fourth part in my WIP Snack series. Previous parts are Midnight Company, Best Laid Plans and Mischief Managed. Art to go with this part: Hogwarts Yearbook 1974 and Cornered. A person asked me about the spell Snape's been working on, so in case someone else was curious, the spell is Sectumsempra. Feedback is always welcome!

Revelations and Realizations

Severus was fuming. He paced in front of his four-poster bed in the empty dorm, pausing only to remove his robes. He tossed them on his neatly made bed and continued to walk back and forth. Severus couldn't believe it. Had Black actually taken his side? The thought was ridiculous! But the Gryffindor had certainly offered him a chance to escape. Severus stopped his pacing, pushed his robes aside and sat on the edge of the mattress. Resting his pale hands in his lap, he stared at the highly visible tendons in them. The hands curled into tight fists and his mouth twisted into a sour line. The unpleasant scene with the Marauders flashed before his eyes, and Severus could see Black pulling Potter's hand down. Why? Why would he do that?

There was no way Black would willingly miss a chance to torment him, not with his friends around. It had to be a cruel joke and Potter and that idiotic Pettigrew were in on it, there was no other explanation. The carefully suppressed memory of his meeting with Black in the Potions classroom tried to surface, but Severus refused to think about it. No other explanation, he repeated and shook his head.

Severus went to his trunk which stood at the end of his bed. He got on his knees and opened the heavy lid. Every single object inside was neatly organized. Books on the right, cauldron on the left, parchments and quills in one corner and everything else in the middle. He took out a beige parchment and spread it out on the floor. It still bore some teeth marks from Black's mongrel form. Severus swallowed as he thought what could have happened if Black hadn't opened his mouth at the right moment. He felt a shiver pass down his spine. It would have been painful, that's for sure. He doubted even Madam Pomfrey would know a cure for this one.

Severus put the parchment back to his trunk and as he was about to close the lid, his eyes landed on one of the books in the heavy stack. He hesitated slightly before taking it out. Severus sat on his heels and set the book in his lap. He stared at the cover. There was a large black and white photograph of the majestic castle, taken from the distance. Wind was making the surface of the lake ripple and he could almost hear the leaves rustling in the trees. Above the picture stood the words 'Hogwarts 1974 – 1975'. Below was the Hogwarts seal and the words 'Draco Dormiens Nunquam Titillandus'.

The book opened stiffly and the binding gave a groan when he forced the cover aside. Severus realized this was the first time he had bothered to open the yearbook. He had simply tossed it away the day they were handed out, not even interested to see how his own picture had turned out. He knew what he looked like, he didn't need a photo to remind him.

The first page contained a formal introduction and Severus ignored it. When he turned the page, he laid his eyes on a large black and white photo that was spread out on both pages. It contained hundreds of small faces, every single one of them moving, some of them smiling, pulling faces, looking timid or excited. It was the entire school staff and all the students, standing in a grassy field, the castle towering in the distance. Severus studied the small faces, most of them unfamiliar to him. He never paid much attention to the younger students, especially if they weren't in Slytherin. He snorted at the first years in the front row, thinking they looked ridiculously small.

Severus let his eyes roam on the photograph, ignoring the teachers and the rest of the staff. He wasn't interested in them. His cheeks flushed as he realized he was searching for one particular face. He glanced around, making sure the dorm was still empty. Turning his attention back to the book, Severus felt his stomach flip unpleasantly when he laid his eyes on a group of fifth year Gryffindors. There they were, staring at him from the pages of the book.

Black was smiling at him, but Severus thought it looked more like a sneer. He had his arms around Potter and Lupin. Pettigrew was trying to force himself between Black and Potter, prying them apart with his stocky frame. The grinning faces turned away as Pettigrew was pushed behind their backs. The same scene played over and over again and Severus watched Black for a while longer before slamming the book shut. He tossed it on the floor and exhaled slowly through his nose.

Why was Black suddenly acting like he suffered from a split personality? Where had the sneer disappeared to and where was the malicious tone of voice? What was it that he was trying to accomplish? Was it really just part of some new Marauder prank meant to humiliate Severus? Had he told Potter and the others what happened in the Potions classroom; what he got old Snivellus to do for him! The thought made Severus's jaw tighten and he dug his nails into his palms, his black eyes suddenly wide with fear and paranoia. What if the entire Gryffindor house knew about it?

The suppressed memory of their midnight meeting forced itself through the barriers Severus had built around it. He was unable to stop the images from displaying before his eyes and the shame he felt was close to physical pain. He doubled over and pressed his forehead against his knees. He could see Black's Quidditch-hardened frame hovering above him in the dark classroom. The grey eyes were watching him, but Severus realized the look in them wasn't malicious or loathing. It was soft but greedy, confident and shy, all at once. There wasn't a hint of cruelty on the Gryffindor's face. Severus felt his frantic heartbeat slow down. Black had actually enjoyed it. Maybe it hadn't been something he was forced to do for a prank.

And prank or not, Severus couldn't deny that he, too, had enjoyed it. He felt his eyes fill with angry tears as he finally admitted it to himself. He was careful not to blink, unwilling to let a single tear fall down his cheek. It felt like he was sailing on uncharted waters and every cell in his body was telling him this wasn't how it was supposed to go. The pure and simple hatred was being muddled with something confusing and unfamiliar. At that moment Severus almost wished Black had allowed Potter to curse him. Because after what happened, after Black had taken his side in front of his friends, it felt like things were suddenly ten times more complicated.

Severus straightened up, took a deep breath and waited for his hammering heart to slow down. He put the yearbook back into the trunk and went to his bed to retrieve the book he had brought with him to breakfast. But it wasn't on the bedside table. He pushed his robes aside and searched the bed, thinking he might have tossed it there when he had stormed inside. Severus groaned as he realized he must have left the book on the courtyard bench. He sat down and rubbed his eyes, wiping away any trace of unshed tears. He'd have to go back for the book, but he wouldn't do it before lunch. He didn't want to run into Potter and Pettigrew for a second time in one morning.


One o'clock found the Great Hall filled with chattering students. Heavy November rain was falling against the tall windows and the ceiling mirrored the weather outside. The spacious room was filled with delicious smells and the long tables were packed with food.

“You keep glancing at the ceiling," James said. "What's supposed to be coming down?” he asked, giving Sirius a suspicious look. He brought his fork up to his mouth and bit into a roast potato.

Sirius averted his eyes from the owl holes high up near the rafters and turned his attention to the roast beef on his plate. “Just wondering when the owls arrive,” he told his friend in a casual voice.

“You expecting a letter, then?” James asked with his mouth full. A piece of his roast potato landed on Sirius's shoulder.

“No,” Sirius replied, shooting James a disgusted look as he wiped the food from his white blouse.

“Right.” James shook his head, rolling his eyes. “You've been weird all day, Pads,” he swallowed, making sure his mouth was empty before continuing. “I'm thinking that slug charm we used might have done some damage on your brain after all.”

Sirius missed James' last words because at that moment the owls had begun to enter the Great Hall, dropping letters and packages in front of the students. He fixed his eyes on the Slytherin table. Sirius found Snape with ease as he seemed to favor the same spot at the end of the table. Sirius smiled when a small, soaking wet owl dropped a letter on Snape's plate. The Slytherin seemed to be confused by it and Sirius frowned when he saw Snape offer it to a girl sitting a few feet away from him. Didn't he realize it was for him? Read the name on the envelope, you git, Sirius thought. The girl shook her head and Snape seemed to understand the letter was indeed addressed to him.

Sirius leaned forward in his seat and almost knocked his plate off the table. He watched with eager eyes as Snape finally opened the envelope and pulled the note out. Sirius's heart was hammering as he observed the expression on Snape's face, waiting for his reaction. And when Snape finally shot him a scowl from across the hall, Sirius knew he'd read the letter. He arched his eyebrows and gave Snape a questioning look. But the Slytherin just stared at him with blank, unreadable eyes and not a muscle in his face moved. Snape folded the note and Sirius saw it disappear into his baggy robes.


Severus glanced at the gloomy ceiling as he prepared to leave the Great Hall. It was covered in grey clouds that flashed with soundless thunder. He trailed after a group of seventh year Slytherins and followed them to the staircase that led to the dungeons. His mind was on the letter he'd received during lunch. According to the note it had contained, Black had his book. And the arrogant git actually expected him to come to the library after hours so he could return it. Black was out of his mind if he thought he'd agree to another private meeting!

Severus saw one of the older Slytherins in front of him glance over his shoulder and shoot him an annoyed look. “Are you eavesdropping?” the tall boy asked in an angry tone, his sleek hair shining in the torchlight.

Severus hung his head and cast his eyes down. He didn't answer, hoping it would be enough if he just allowed the distance to grow.

“That's right, keep your crooked nose out of other people's business,” the older boy said in a warning tone. “These are private matters and don't concern you, Snape. Scurry away now.” The boys snickered and continued to talk in hushed voices.

Severus held his gaze on the stone floor and gritted his teeth. No wonder the Marauders saw him as an easy target when even people in his own house showed him no respect. But one day all that would change... Severus kept his distance for the rest of the way and slipped into his dorm when he reached the Slytherin common room. He removed the note from his robes and folded the garment neatly before laying down on his bed. The green curtains closed with a flick from his wand.

Severus stared at the piece of paper. Black's handwriting was small and at first glance, quite illegible. It looked like he had written the note in a hurry. Or maybe his scribbling was always this horrible. Severus brought the note up to his nose and inhaled. It didn't have Black’s scent on it, but smelled rather like a regular piece of paper. Severus felt himself blush at what he'd just done. He clenched the note into his fist and stared at the roof of his bed, his chest rising rapidly.

When the color on his face had faded, he opened his hand again. He smoothed the crinkled note back to its original state and stared at the signature. Instead of having the Gryffindor's full name, it was signed 'Sirius'. Severus frowned as he read it over and over again. It felt too personal. But the six simple letters also made something flutter in the pit of his stomach. Severus couldn't name the feeling as he didn't think he'd ever felt it before. He turned his eyes back to the first few sentences. Black was asking to meet him in the library at midnight. Severus promised himself he wouldn't go. He didn't trust Sirius Black as far as he could throw him. And more importantly, Severus didn't trust himself around the sly Gryffindor.


Sirius was lying on his bed, his head pressed against the hard lump under his pillow. He glanced at the Muggle wrist watch Remus had given him last summer. Midnight couldn't arrive quickly enough. Sirius lowered his arm when he felt the mattress slump slightly and saw Remus sitting at the edge of his bed. Remus gave Sirius a careful smile, trying to keep from stretching the fresh wounds on his face. The latest full moon had been exceptionally hard on him. “James told me about this morning. About Snape. You stood up for him,” Remus said. “Well, he didn't use those words exactly, but I figured that's what happened.”

Sirius sat up, taking a slightly defensive pose. “Yeah? Well, I only did it-”

“I'm proud of you,” Remus interrupted, his pleased smile growing slightly wider.

“You are?” Sirius was surprised. He had been sure that unlike James, Remus would suspect something when he'd hear about the incident. Apparently his friend just thought Sirius was finally showing signs of maturing. He returned Remus's smile and got back into a more relaxed position.

They turned to look at the door when James stumbled inside. Peter emerged moments later and leaned against the doorway. “There you are,” James huffed and Sirius guessed he had run several staircases. He knew he'd been right when he glanced at Peter who was a heaving slump, now lying on his bed across the room. “Me and Peter, we've got this great idea for tonight.” James was visibly excited and eager to share their plan.

“Does it involve being out of bed after hours and the chance of getting expelled?” Remus asked from Sirius's feet, lifting one eyebrow.

“Naturally,” James winked at Remus and pulled out the Marauder's Map. “Right, come here and I'll show you.” He knelt on the floor and spread the map on the maroon carpet. Both Remus and Peter joined him eagerly but Sirius remained on the bed.

“I can't go,” Sirius said and cringed at the look he received from James.

“What do you mean you can't go?” James asked in a disbelieving voice, staring like Sirius had suddenly grown a whole new set of limbs.

“I have to be somewhere tonight. Sorry, mate,” Sirius said apologetically. And a part of him really was sorry that he was going to miss the fun, because the Marauder in him wanted to go with his friends.

James groaned and stood up from the floor. “What? You got a hot date or something?”

Sirius hesitated before nodding. “Yeah, a date,” he said, thinking his friends would never find that explanation suspicious or unbelievable, not with his previous reputation.

“But this is so much better than girls, Pads,” James slumped back on the floor, looking defeated. “I mean, this is important stuff,” he muttered, disappointment visible in his stance.

“You're just jealous because you can't get Evans to go out with you,” Peter laughed from the floor. He cowered under the look he received from the taller boy.

“Shut it, Wormy, or you're out,” James snapped and turned to Remus. He gave his friend a hopeful look. “You're still coming, right?”

“Sure, count me in,” Remus said and received a pleased grin from James. He was eager to participate in a little mischief, but he also wanted to make sure his friends wouldn't get carried away.

Sirius watched the brainstorming from his bed, feeling guilty about lying to James. But he couldn't really tell the truth, not about this, so there was no reason to beat himself for it. He got up and went to his trunk. As he pushed the lid aside and saw the mess, he wondered if he'd even find what he was looking for. After some rummaging, he pulled out his yearbook. It looked slightly worn and the binds weren't that tight any more. It was the same book every year, just the photos inside and the date on the cover were charmed to update. Sirius closed the trunk and went back to his bed. He glanced at his friends over his shoulder and began to flip through the pages.

The book was full of notes and markings. Most of them were made by him, but the inner cover was filled with signatures from friends he had in different houses. There were several girls who had short notes beside their pictures. Most of them were girls he had gone out with. The comments were there to let him know whether a second date was in order, or if he should avoid them at all cost.

Sirius flipped through the pages, ignoring the first years and second years, but when he reached the third year students, he stopped. It was hard to find people in the book because Dumbledore or whoever had designed it, hadn't heard of alphabetical order. The faces on the pages weren't even sorted by their houses, but seemed to be scattered quite randomly. The only sense of order came from being sorted by the amount of years they had spent at Hogwarts.

Sirius felt his heart sink when he finally laid his eyes on his younger brother. Regulus, like everyone in their family except for Sirius, wore the Slytherin colours. His brother was staring at him amid other young students, his hair tucked neatly behind his ears, chin raised, a proud glint in his eyes. A face, Sirius thought, worthy of the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black. He spotted a small stain on his brother's photo and used his thumb to wipe it away. Sirius gave the picture an affectionate stroke with his hand before turning the page. He continued to flip through the pages until he reached the fifth year students. Sirius already knew where he'd find Snape. The Slytherin was right beside his own picture, along with James, Remus and Peter. What an absolutely weird coincidence. Sirius remembered the first time he'd seen the book and his reaction to finding Snape's face next to his own. It had been during their first year at Hogwarts. Peter had pointed at him, as if having Snape's picture next to yours meant you had a gross disease or a third eye. Sirius himself had grabbed a quill and filled the Slytherin's picture with random scribbles, along with a coarse snake and the nickname they had given him on their first trip to Hogwarts.

The Snape in the photo wasn't scowling at Sirius, he merely stared at him with hollow, black eyes. And though the picture had updated several times, it still bore Sirius's childhood markings. He felt his face burn as he stared at them. Sirius grabbed his wand from the bedside table and pointed the tip at Snape's picture. “Reparo,” he whispered and the photo returned to its original state. He studied the expressionless face in front of him. Sirius tried to imagine the corners of the blank mouth curling up into a smile; a genuine smile that lacked cruelty or malice.


Quarter to midnight found Sirius sneaking into the library. As always, it had closed at eight pm, but the door opened with a simple charm. Sirius slipped inside and listened for any signs of Madam Pince's presence. The enormous room was quiet except for the sound of his own breathing.

Sirius didn't like the idea of waiting in the dark and pointed his wand at one of the torches near the entrance. He walked to a nearby table and drew himself a seat. Sirius clutched Snape's book to his chest and drummed the table with nervous fingers. What if Snape wouldn't come? He hadn't really thought about it until now. What if Snape didn't want anything to do with him? Sirius frowned as he realized that was actually very probable. But surely Snape would want his book back. And he hadn't ripped the note, so that had to be a good sign. And if the git wouldn't show up, well that was his loss. He could get his book from the bin! Sirius swallowed and glanced at his Muggle watch. Snape had to come.

Minutes stretched on and Sirius was still the only living soul inside the dark library. He got up from his seat, lit the tip of his wand and began to walk amid the towering bookshelves. The air was heavy and stale with dust from the ancient books and Sirius felt his nose begin to itch. The library was like a maze. There were rows and rows of bookshelves, each packed to their fullest capacity. The tall windows were inky black and the oil lamps on the tables were unlit. Sirius could count the times he had been there with one hand and it took him some time to find his way back. In the dark every corridor looked the same and when he finally saw the light from the torch he'd lit, he sighed with relief.

Sirius walked toward the light, but as he emerged from the jungle of bookshelves, he stopped abruptly. Snape was sitting at the table. The Slytherin looked surprised and taken aback by his appearance. He straightened in his seat and tried his best to look casual, but Sirius thought he looked jittery and definitely unhappy to be there.

“I didn't think you'd come,” Sirius said as he made his way to the table. He drew himself a seat on the opposite side, right in front of Snape.

“Neither did I,” Snape replied, watching Sirius with wary eyes. He turned them to the book Sirius was still clutching to his chest. “But unfortunately that book is Hogwarts property. And I prefer to avoid any jinx Madam Pince has placed on it.”

“She puts jinxes on her books?” Sirius asked, genuinely surprised. He glanced at the book in his hands as if it were something poisonous.

“Yes. Apparently to prevent students from mistreating them,” Snape said, his eyes still fixed on the book in Sirius's grip. “May I have that back now?” he asked stiffly. Sirius nodded and placed the book on the table. Snape grabbed it with greedy fingers. He clutched the book to his chest and stood up from his seat, eager to leave.

Sirius hadn't thought what he was going to do after he had returned the book. What did he even expect from tonight? He had no idea how he could keep Snape from leaving. The Slytherin was backing away towards the door. Sirius felt a surge of panic and stumbled up from his seat in a hurry. His movement made Snape take several steps back and the smaller boy looked like a deer caught in the headlights.

“Wait,” Sirius said, motioning with his hands for Snape to calm down. “I wanted to...” He didn't know how to continue and seeing Snape move closer to the door made every gear in his brain stop. “I wanted to...”

“What?” the Slytherin snapped, sounding anxious. “What do you want from me, Black!? Can't you just leave me alone?”

Sirius shook his head and his mouth was moving before he could stop himself. “No, I can't!” he blurted out, taking several steps in Snape's direction. He brushed his hair with nervous fingers and tugged it behind his ears. “I... I dream about you. Every night. And I can't get you out of my head when I'm awake!” Sirius closed his mouth with an audible smack and blinked; Snape wasn't the only one surprised by his words. Sirius felt his cheeks flush. Snape stared at Sirius, his mouth ajar and brows arched close to his hairline.

“You're... lying,” Snape whispered, his voice feeble but not lacking in anger. The surprised expression had changed into a glower. Sirius shook his head, his hair flying about his face, but Snape wasn't convinced. The room filled with a heavy silence and it seemed to draw out for ages.

Sirius gave Snape a furtive glance. It was now or never. He swallowed and stuck his hands in his pockets. Shoulders hunched, Sirius stepped forward. “Something's changed between us, Snape,” he said in a quiet voice. “I don't know if you can feel it, but I bloody well can. And I can't just ignore it.” The heavy silence returned and Sirius wondered if he had fallen into a vacuum. “I'm serious.” He watched Snape expectantly but the Slytherin seemed to be at a loss for words. “Snape?” Sirius finally whispered. “Did you hear me?”

Snape gave a vague nod and licked his lips. “What – What do you want me to do about it?” he stammered, blinking furiously.

Sirius met Snape's black eyes which were glinting in the torchlight like a pair of beetle shells. He gave the Slytherin a small grin and flung his head back. Watching Snape with half-lidded eyes, Sirius smiled mischievously. “I can think of a few things.” He stepped forward and Snape immediately moved away from him.

“Black...” Snape said in a warning tone. “If you think you'll get within five feet of me after what happened last time...”

Sirius edged closer, a hungry glint in his grey eyes. “Don't you trust me?” He was guiding Snape toward the wall.

“That's a ridiculous question and you know it.” Snape felt his back hit the stony wall and jerked visibly. He glanced over his shoulder and cursed as he realized he was once again cornered by Sirius Black. The Gryffindor closed the remaining distance between them and Snape's heart rate doubled, his face turning a whiter shade of pale. He gripped his wand tightly and brought it between them. “I don't trust you as far as I can throw you, Black,” Snape informed, looking defiant as Sirius leaned closer.

“Not even after this morning?” Sirius asked innocently, arching one eyebrow. “Wasn't I on your side?” He tried to look casual, as if he didn't mind the wand pointed at his nose, but the hand in his pocket fiddled with his own wand.
Snape seemed to forget his discomfort and the anguished look on his face vanished. Sirius thought he looked furious. “If you expect me to be grateful,” the Slytherin snapped. “If you expect me to fall on my knees and-”

“A simple 'thanks' would do,” Sirius interrupted and gave Snape an amused smile. The smaller boy closed his mouth and seemed to give him a pout. Sirius waited but Snape kept his mouth tightly shut. He shrugged; he hadn't actually expected Snape to thank him. They continued to stare at each other and Sirius removed his right hand from the pocket of his trousers. He pressed it against the wall and Snape gave it a furtive glance. The Slytherin leaned back and clutched his wand like a lifeline.

“Get back,” Snape said in a warning tone. He raised his wand higher. “I will hex you... This time I mean it.” His threat sounded half-hearted, even to his own ears.

Sirius leaned closer, ignoring the wand now poking at his collarbone. “And I meant what I said before, Snape,” he whispered. “If you don't believe me, I'll prove it to you.”

Snape shook his head, tightening his hold on the book which was threatening to slip from his hand. “Save your breath,” he snorted, trying to sound indifferent. "I'm not interested."

“Talking isn't what I had in mind.” Sirius had to smile at the confused look Snape gave him. Couldn't the Slytherin guess where this was going? Snape stared with unblinking eyes as Sirius leaned closer. "I'll show you," Sirius whispered, his warm breath falling on Snape's ashen cheek. Snape shivered and turned his face away. Sirius began to slide down along the Slytherin's lanky frame.

“What do you think you're doing, Black?” Snape asked and watched Sirius with narrowed eyes.

Sirius didn't answer. He got on his knees and kept his eyes on Snape. He made sure his movements were slow and carefully calculated, as if he were dealing with a wild deer or a hare. He watched the Slytherin's hand still holding the wand, trying to determine if it looked threatening or not.

There was an odd tension in the chilly air that surrounded them. Severus could feel his body was beginning to cave in and he cursed it for being so weak. He feared his mind would soon follow. “Get up,” Severus hissed in a small voice. Sirius shook his head and grinned mischievously. Severus's inky black eyes were fixed on Sirius's grey ones. His Adam's apple bobbed as he tried to swallow and his scowl was a failed attempt.

Sirius pressed his left hand against the Slytherin's lower belly and grabbed his narrow hips with the right one. He heard Snape's breathing hitch and saw the fingers around the wand twitch. But Snape wasn't stopping him. He merely watched him with poorly disguised curiosity and a hint of self-loathing in his eyes. Sirius rubbed his hand on Snape's stomach in a small circle and felt the muscles under his palm contract. He grinned and used his thumb to stroke the Slytherin's jutting hipbone. Careful not to break the eye contact, he tugged at the white blouse Snape had stuffed into his trousers. Sirius paused and gave him a questioning look before proceeding.

Snape turned his eyes away and stared into the distance, his mouth ajar and chest rising with his rabid breathing. The hand holding the wand had lowered of its own accord and hung at his side. Sirius waited but Snape wasn't doing anything to stop him. His black eyes fluttered and closed momentarily when Sirius sneaked his fingers under the loosened shirt. Snape licked his lips and opened his eyes, tightening his hold on the heavy book he was still clutching with his right hand.

Full of his usual self-confidence, Sirius let his fingers travel on the warm skin he found underneath the shirt. He paused to stroke around the small hollow of the Slytherin's navel. He could feel Snape thrust into his touch ever so slightly. Sirius gripped the narrow hips more firmly while his other hand traveled north.
Sirius glanced up to make sure Snape hadn't changed his mind. The wand remained lowered and Sirius was surprised to find Snape looking down with half-lidded eyes. He wasn't sure whether Snape's eyes were focused on him or not. Despite the yellow glow of the torch nearby, it was impossible to find pupils in the black eyes. But Snape held the eye contact and Sirius thought he could see a hue of color on his sallow cheeks.

Feeling encouraged, Sirius pulled his hand back and reached for the book Snape was still holding. Snape allowed him to take it and Sirius placed it on the floor. He glanced at the wand but Snape tightened his hold on it. Sirius knew he couldn't really blame Snape for being on his guard around him, not with the countless times he, James and Peter had tormented the Slytherin. Sirius gave him an approving nod. “Okay, but if you hex me, I'll bite you,” he warned. Snape didn't answer, but it didn't look like he was planning on using the wand any time soon. “Part your legs for me,” Sirius whispered and twined his fingers around the Slytherin's inner thighs. Snape hesitated, just as he had expected. Sirius gave a demanding nudge with his hands and Snape was standing with his legs astride.

Sirius's heart beat with excitement. Just last night he had been certain he would never find himself in this situation again. Sirius realized it was a small wonder Snape had actually agreed to meet him tonight. He blinked and gave the Slytherin a long, assessing gaze. It had been almost too easy. Sirius felt his stomach flutter. Was it possible that his feelings weren't unrequited? Could Snape actually want this as much as he did? Every cell in his body was telling him there was no other explanation for why Snape was allowing this to happen with so little resistance. At this realization the hormone-addled, 15-year-old teen in him screamed for uninhibited groping, but Sirius knew he had to be patient. Otherwise there was a good chance he'd scare the Slytherin away. Sirius was certain Snape didn't have any previous experience of sex or relationships – he didn't even seem to have any friends. There was just that one night in the dungeons with Sirius. He knew he had to play his cards right.

Hiding his excitement, Sirius massaged Snape's lean thighs and let his hands travel up. He brushed his fingers against the silver belt buckle above the slightly bulging fly. Snape blinked, the fingers in his own hand twitching. Sirius's hands sneaked their way behind the Slytherin's hips and attempted to grope the firm arse. He felt the whole body in front of him jerk. Sirius glanced up and when he saw the warning look Snape was giving him, he pulled his hands away. He could take a hint.

Sirius let his hands travel south and pressed the heel of his hand against the root of Snape's erection. The Animagus in him could smell the other boy's arousal. Sirius parted his own legs wider as he felt his prick give a warning throb in his pants. The smell was intoxicating to him. He wanted to lean closer and inhale it but he kept his distance.

Sirius brought his other hand down to his own crotch. He bit his lower lip, the bridge of his nose crinkling, as he gave himself a relieving squeeze. The body in front of him was fidgeting and Sirius decided he would give his full attention to the Slytherin. He rubbed Snape through his trousers and the arousal jutting against his palm grew in size. Sirius could tell Snape was trying to keep from thrusting into his hand. His whole body was tense, but the look on his face told Sirius he was on the verge of losing control. Sirius didn't hesitate and he began to undo Snape's fly. He fumbled a little as his fingers sneaked in hastily through the flap. Snape let out an audible gasp when Sirius took the heated flesh into a firm grip.

Sirius tried to proceed as quickly as possible and his movements were more or less clumsy. He felt his mouth go dry as he pulled the Slytherin out from his pants. His own trousers were suddenly all too tight and his hips jerked of their own accord. Snape was blinking furiously, his eyes darting around the dark room. Sirius lowered his gaze and began to slick the shaft with a series of firm strokes. Snape parted his legs wider and let out a weak sigh.

Sirius released his hold on the Slytherin’s hipbone and brought his hand down to his own erection, now prominent against the fly of his pants. He gave it a squeeze, hard enough to make himself gasp. His other hand kept working on Snape and Sirius felt the narrow hips begin to thrust into his touch. He was forced to leave his own arousal unattended and grasp the Slytherin’s hips as the thrusts became more powerful. Sirius ceased the stroking and shook his head.

”Not yet,” he whispered. Snape blinked his eyes open and gazed down, slightly dazed. Sirius considered the look on Snape’s face as he moistened his lips. The Slytherin seemed to guess what Sirius had in mind. His eyes widened, the look in them disbelieving. Sirius moved closer and fixed his grip on the slick arousal, now only inches away from his nose. Swallowing his nervousness, he inhaled and closed his eyes. As he felt the heated erection touch his lips, a shiver shot down his spine, tingling like electricity. Sirius gave a bold lick with his tongue, not wanting to show the Slytherin that he didn't actually have a clue what he was doing.

He tried to hide his hesitation as he took the Slytherin into his mouth. The arousal was heavy against his tongue. Sirius swallowed as he felt something slick trickle down his throat. The taste was slightly bitter. It was filling his mouth in a steady flow and he knew Snape wouldn’t last long. Sirius loosened his grip on Snape’s hips. He tried to breath through his nose as the Slytherin began to thrust in and out. It didn’t take much encouraging and Sirius guessed this was the first time Snape was getting this kind of treatment. He wasn't exactly gentle and his thrusts were somewhat erratic. Sirius was sure his own performance wasn't perfect either. He only wished some of the girls he’d gone out with had agreed to something like this. But the furthest he’d ever gotten was second base.

Sirius glanced to his side and saw the fingers in Snape’s left hand twitch. And as the thrusts became more powerful, almost stabbing, he saw the hand move. Long fingers reached for the back of his skull and sank into his thick, wavy hair. Sirius shuddered as his own erection remained unattended, so hard that it actually stung. He could tell Snape was trying to keep his hand from clenching too tight. But as the Slytherin came, Sirius yelped at the painful grip Snape suddenly had on his hair. Sirius blinked, his eyes stinging and the muscles in his throat worked to swallow. Snape let out a low, broken moan and Sirius wished he could witness the expression on his face.

When he felt the grip on his hair loosen, Sirius glanced up at Snape and pressed the heel of his hand against his own hardness. And he was coming, going off in his pants before he even knew it. His whole body jerked, as if electrified, and he squeezed his eyes shut and pulled back hastily to avoid hurting Snape. The body in front of him moved and Sirius turned his face up. Snape was coming down from his own high and looked as if his feet would fail him. Sirius pressed both hands against the Slytherin’s stomach and kept him from swaying, his own breathing erratic and shallow.

After his heart had settled to a normal rhythm, Sirius cleaned the mess on his trousers. Snape was leaning his head against the wall, his chest heaving. He winced slightly when Sirius sneaked up along his worn body and tugged him back into his trousers. Sirius pressed both hands against the wall and leaned close enough to bring their bodies in contact. He wouldn’t allow the Slytherin to escape like last time. Snape watched him with satisfied eyes, but the look on his face turned reserved as he registered the way Sirius was staring at him. And Sirius didn’t hesitate or ask for permission; he merely leaned in and kissed the Slytherin, forcing his tongue past the soft lips. He twined one hand in Snape’s black hair before the other boy could even begin to resist him. Massaging their tongues together, Sirius knew Snape would be able to taste his own release in his quite arrogant and slightly forceful kiss. And despite the hold Sirius had on his long hair, Snape wrenched himself free from his grip.

“What the bloody hell do you think you’re doing, Black?” he hissed, furious. “I can taste my own --- That’s disgusting!”

Sirius rolled his eyes. Stupid git, he thought. “I didn’t think it was disgusting,” he said, a wicked smile playing on his slightly swollen lips. “And if you’re nice, I might do that again.” Sirius’s eyes glinted in the torchlight and he gave Snape a suggestive look.

“What makes you so sure I want to do this again?” Snape asked, trying to sound indifferent, knowing he was failing the moment he opened his mouth. It wasn’t so easy to hide the fact that he’d just had one of the best orgasms of his life.

“That’s a ridiculous question and you know it,” Sirius said pointedly, echoing Snape’s own words. He knew Snape had enjoyed every moment. Snape didn't answer, but the corner of his mouth curved up just barely enough for Sirius to mistake it for a smile if he wished to do so.

senjism on September 1st, 2007 08:08 pm (UTC)
grrrr... love it! i need more from this series, more I tells ye!
not telling!: Siriusyorda_ on September 1st, 2007 09:59 pm (UTC)
Hee, I'm happy to hear that :) And more will come as soon as I'm able to write it. I have the entire plot worked out but I only have time to write one part per week.
senjism on September 2nd, 2007 11:40 am (UTC)
well, you're better than me then - as soon as i get something plotted out i suddenly become very bad at actually writing the damn thing.

Looking forward to the next part!
ednama on September 1st, 2007 09:55 pm (UTC)
*happy sigh*
not telling!: Snapeyorda_ on September 1st, 2007 10:00 pm (UTC)
I take it that means you liked this :)
nuuknuuk on September 2nd, 2007 11:16 am (UTC)
I blame you for all the wrinkles I got from grinning like an idiot the whole time when reading this.

“What the bloody hell do you think you’re doing, Black?” he hissed, furious. “I can taste my own --- That’s disgusting!”

not telling!: Snapeyorda_ on September 2nd, 2007 11:32 am (UTC)
Hehe, sorry *offers antiwrinkle cream* ;)
itylienitylien on September 2nd, 2007 12:09 pm (UTC)
You know what? It's look more and more like they're under influence of some love charm, or potion, or curse... or some other powerful, unpredictable, highly illegal love-name-it. [Hyym… and maybe it looks like that for me ‘cos I always wanted to read something with Sirius, Severus and highly illegal love-name-it…] They’re just soo... Out of character. But not in wrong way!
Well... If they were in character somewhere about beginning of that chapter blood would be spilled... And we don't want it right? Right?
Anyway, I'm very happy with that one, it's nice, and long and smutty and with a touch of interesting plot [like when the hell James and The Rest will saw that something is very, VERY wrong with Padfood]
To say the true the photos bit I adored the most. It was cool, good job. <>

Now... When next part?

[well... I'm a bit drunk at the moment so my English probably was affected. Sorry...]
not telling!: Snapeyorda_ on September 2nd, 2007 12:20 pm (UTC)
A love potion? That sounds interesting. Unfortunately that's not the case in this particular fic, but do you mind if I steal your idea and store it in the back of my mind? Because I'd definitely like to write that some day!

And I think there's no way to write a fic with these two without making them OOC. Unless you're writing a fic with hate!sex. And even then they would have to be a bit OOC, because in reality these two characters wouldn't even be in the same room if they didn't have to, right? :)

Heh, I think the others, or at least James and Remus, will start to suspect something soon :) And I'll try to finish the fifth part by next Friday. I have to work every day so I only have time to write at night.
itylienitylien on September 2nd, 2007 02:23 pm (UTC)
"do you mind if I steal your idea and store it in the back of my mind? Because I'd definitely like to write that some day!"

Nope, I very much don't mind. Make yourself at home.
Some day soon I hope.

As to OOC-nes, you right, but then... we never had them alone in one room, if I remembering correctly. So there’s no way to say. And, IMHO, they are a lot more interesting when a bit out of original, boring, character. It just my opinion of course.

Nobody like's Wormy. One would though that he would be nice to use in Maruder’s time, and still nobody likes him...
dramapunk: our housedramapunk on September 2nd, 2007 10:59 pm (UTC)
Man This was a very good chapter, I love how terrified Snape seemed t'was the awesome. I love your ability for description.

Keep up the good work, I can't wait for the next bit.
not telling!yorda_ on September 3rd, 2007 06:26 am (UTC)
Thank you :) I'm already working on the next part. I'll try to finish it by Friday.
nwhikernwhiker on September 3rd, 2007 02:34 am (UTC)
[finally breathes]

Wow. That was... ummm... hot.

I'm loving this series, thanks so much for writing/sharing.

Sweet boys!
not telling!yorda_ on September 3rd, 2007 06:28 am (UTC)
No problem, I'm just happy to be getting so much positive feedback! Anyway, you can expect part five around Thursday-Friday :)
(Deleted comment)
not telling!: Snapeyorda_ on September 4th, 2007 06:53 am (UTC)
Thank you so much for the feedback! And I really can't imagine a 15-year-old boy giving anyone a perfect blowjob, so... :)
rabid_fangrrlrabid_fangrrl on September 4th, 2007 03:09 pm (UTC)


o noes! teh smex! That was uhmmm.. riveting. I think you managed to really capture a really awkward and yet tender first time moment.

waaah! Good job!
not telling!yorda_ on September 6th, 2007 06:30 am (UTC)
Hee, glad you think so :) I thought it would have to be a bit awkward because what 15-year-old knows how to give a perfect blowjob?
Air Unzbuzzlerherbailiwick on September 8th, 2007 03:29 am (UTC)
Awwwwwwwwww, so, so cute!