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31 December 2008 @ 01:55 pm
Happy New Year and an Excerpt.  
Hello? Is anyone still here?

Happy New Year! May 2009 bring all of us more Snack fic and art!

I've been diligently working on my NaNoWriMo novel. I wrote the first part in November, thereby "winning" on the 50k words, and have been working slowly on the rest. It's not Snack, but it's making me happy to write. That said... I did have Snack fic in the works, that I was letting simmer for a while. One of my New Year's Resolutions is to finish it.

It's not done, though. But... I'll post an excerpt. It stands alone, more or less.

For the record, it's AU after DH.

Snape was standing, looking out the window. It was late, and Sirius had gone to prepare some cocoa before bed. He came back, put the tray on a low table and walked over to stand behind Snape, close, closer perhaps than he should have. Snape didn't move away and when Sirius exhaled he could see the hair at Snape's neck move gently. The now familiar trembling started, deep inside of him.

"I'm afraid."

"Afraid?" he asked, his voice hoarse.

Snape nodded: "What if... if we do... go beyond this, and it falls apart?"

Sirius hesitated. He leaned his chin on Snape's shoulder and finally spoke: "I don't know. I'm sorry. I just don't know."

"I don't want to lose what we do have. I... value your friendship."

Sirius closed his eyes and inhaled the smell of Snape's hair, his neck, felt the cloth of his suit on his chin, fought back the urge to hold the other man. He thought of what the loss of Snape's friendship would mean to him and realised it would leave a hole in his life... the routine of the past few years had been good. But he had other friends, he had Harry and Ginny and hopefully soon, their children. Ron, Hermione, George, even Molly and Arthur, Kingsley, Bill... Snape... from what he'd guessed of Snape's life, he had no friends, no real acquaintances. He worked as the custodian at a school, alone most of the time. He'd never had any family, and Sirius doubted he'd stop at the pub on the way home from work for a pint with his neighbours. Snape had too much to lose.

"I understand." he whispered. "I'm sorry. I should never have asked. I should have realised..."

"No, I'd have wanted to know... however... if this is too painful for you, I'd understand if you didn't want to see me... at all or as often."

His arms, almost despite themselves, circled Snape's slight form and he pulled the other man close, happy that he did not resist the embrace.

They were both trembling. He knew that Snape could feel his erection, which he was trying desperately to will down.

Snape's voice was almost inaudible: "I understand that... you'll probably find someone else and I know what that will mean... but I can't keep on giving you hope, when I won't..."

Sirius took a deep breath. "Would you... want to become lovers if there wasn't a danger in losing it all?"

He felt Snape's body shudder and felt his nod. His stomach clenched, fell, he didn't know if his legs would continue to support him. He gulped. "Come on... let's sit down."

They sat on the couch and Sirius, with a flick of his wand, dimmed all the candles.

"I don't think I'm gay." said Snape abruptly. "But... I... do feel... I guess it's desire... I want to get closer to you, all the time. But..." His voice trailed off.

Sirius remained silent, knowing there was more.

"I... I guess I can't see why you would... could want... me?"

Sirius swallowed, hoping his voice would be right when he spoke: "Because... I think.... because for whatever reason, you're the person I most... want to be close to. I think you said it, back when... we're the only two left, Severus. You are the only part of my life that... has always been there."

It was easier to speak, or not to, in the dark room.

"I can't say what would happen if we did become... lovers..." His whole body thrilled at just saying the word, "... and things didn't work out. I still think we'd... manage. Because... really... it's just you and me left."

Time passed.

"I don't think that I'd... go looking for anyone else, at this point." he admitted, "I'm not that desperate for sex... I mean..." he laughed nervously, "I am, but I'm more... wanting the connection."

Snape spoke slowly: "So... you are saying that you think the friendship is what is more important to you? To both of us."

Sirius hesitated. "Yes. I think it is. I think we'd be... good lovers, as we are good friends and I can't imagine a situation where I'd risk losing your friendship."

Careful in the dim room, he went to get them both brandy, more suitable, he felt, than the cocoa they'd been drinking, sipping to give themselves time.

The alcohol burned his throat as he took a sip and he closed his eyes, enjoying the warmth of it, anticipating the slight headiness that was sure to come. He opened his eyes when he felt his snifter being taken from his unresisting hand, and felt Snape's lips touch his.

Time stopped... then sprinted to catch up and Sirius wondered if his heart was still beating, then if it would explode from out of his chest, because nothing had ever felt like this.

It took a while, really, for them to settle into the kiss. Later, Sirius admitted he was sorely out of practice and Snape said that while there had been a few women in his life, they weren't of the sort he'd ever wanted to kiss. So they bumped noses and clashed teeth, and drooled a bit and gasped for air, and missed each other's cues. But then... things fell into place and Sirius had never known a kiss could be this good. Lips, meeting Snape's warm rough tongue, one hand on the back of Snape's head, the other gripping, almost desperately, at the lapel of Snape's jacket.

Something penetrated his consciouness and he realised that Snape must be uncomfortable, leaning over, propped up with one hand on the sofa arm, so, trying not to disrupt the kissing too much, he slid down, and over and eventually managed it so they were both lying down, pressed against each other, on the sofa.

He shuddered when he felt Snape's hard, clothed cock next to his, his whole body tensing in lust. Then Snape's hand, on his shoulder, running down his arm, up his back, and then Snape's fingers running through his hair, holding his head, their tongues running together, Snape's mouth, redolent of brandy and chocolate.

He pressed his groin towards Snape, felt Snape press back. He heard moaning, Snape's short pants, his own heart pounding in his chest.

Lips and tongue and hands. And Snape's eyes. Looking into those dark eyes, so dark. Trust, and caring, and desire. There was nothing better in the world.

Hands on shoulders, running down backs, hands in hair. His hands on Snape's arse, pulling him closer, rubbing each other, desperate for relief, wanting more than anything to rip at Snape's clothes, to touch him, oh Merlin, to touch him. Snape's eyes, half closed, his breath, gasping.

He took a deep breath and whispered in Snape's ear: "Whatever you want."

Snape nodded and gently started to suck Sirius' lip. He groaned, they both did, and arms gripping each other, they followed the kiss, the world spinning out of control, reduced and expanded at the same time to their lips and mouths.

Much later, Sirius slipped his hand down between them and cupped Snape's erection, pressing. He felt Snape tense, and he nodded: no further than kissing tonight.

Eventually, they stumbled to their rooms. Sirius, the taste of Snape still in his mouth, on his lips, ripped open his trousers and brought himself to completion, fast and hard, biting his lip, leaning against the door. Spent, he stumbled, half dressed to his bed and lay there for a long time, catching his breath, wondering if Snape was doing the same thing a few feet away.

lindsey_grissom: stock {text} boys kissing boyslindsey_grissom on January 1st, 2009 11:47 am (UTC)
Oh. Happy New Year indeed! That is...well, lets just say I can't wait for more because...WOW. Thanks for the excerpt and goodluck with finishing your NaNoWriMo and with completing the Snack.
And I agree...2009 shoudl definitely bring more Snack art and fic!
nwhiker: octopusnwhiker on January 5th, 2009 09:08 pm (UTC)
Glad you liked! And thanks, I'm just loving the writing process right now.
(Deleted comment)
nwhiker: octopusnwhiker on January 5th, 2009 09:08 pm (UTC)
Bad first kisses are great unless they happen to me! Hee.
some kind of snark faery: severus sirius (potterpuffs opposites)shyfoxling on January 3rd, 2009 04:07 am (UTC)
Oh WOO! What's not to like?
nwhiker: octopusnwhiker on January 5th, 2009 09:09 pm (UTC)
:-) Thanks. The whole fic, though, is different from what I usually write, so we'll have to see.
smilencejokes on January 4th, 2009 01:25 pm (UTC)
Happy New Year!

I love the bad-first-kiss too ^_^
nwhiker: octopusnwhiker on January 5th, 2009 09:12 pm (UTC)
They happen, don't they, those bad first kisses, bad first sex... Not first time first time, but first time with someone you're just learning.
Julilla1julilla1 on January 19th, 2009 03:18 am (UTC)
::::sneaking in:::::

Hopefully you will finish this! :D
nwhiker: octopusnwhiker on January 23rd, 2009 06:50 am (UTC)
Hey, it's good to see you! Glad you enjoyed and I will finish it... if I don't, hunt me down and 100 lashes with a wet noodle!